and she's FIVE!!...well, tomorrow.

(I just looked over this post. PLEASE someone tell me how in the world you scan pics to a decent size so you can actually see them when posting them?! Sorry for the teeny weeny pics).

We're leaving to go camping for 2 nights at Virginia Beach. Dayne has requested this for her birthday for a good 8 months now. Here's some pics to document Dayne's first few years (I scanned them..after this everything went digital). Dayne was our big 10 lb. 5 oz. baby born with pneumonia. She was taken from us right after birth and lived for the next 9 days in the NICU. She was BY FAR the biggest baby in there (and the most beautiful). She had a big breathing mask over her face that was kept on so tightly that her face swelled up and her eyes couldn't open. They took the breathing mask off after (I believe??) 6 or 7 days to reveal a gorgeous baby with big, blue eyes and thick, dark hair (the mask included a head covering..probably to help keep the whole thing on). I cried when they took it off because it was like seeing my baby for the first time. I felt guilty going in there knowing Dayne was soon to come home and all those other moms had 2-4 lb babies with health complications that could keep them in there for months. I remember going in one day right after she was born and trying to keep from crying when I saw all the tubes and wires attached to my baby. The nurse told me it was okay to cry for MY baby; to not compare myself or Dayne to other mothers and babies. This was MY situation and I was justified in feeling the way I did. How hard to go home without a baby in your arms!! And we were literally a 5 minute (or less!) walk to the hospital. I didn't want to be anywhere but there. I had to pump throughout the day and night and Dayne wasn't allowed to eat for the first 5 days or so. And then it was the bottle, and then it was me after that. I don't think she really starting nursing until 8 days after she was born. She turned out to be my best nurser, though. She didn't want any real food until about 10 months and even then, preferred me to anything else.

And now we have an (almost) five year old and I'm emotional thinking about it. Cole was a difficult toddler that made focusing on Dayne hard (and she was colicky for the first 4 months of her life). The move to Virginia, having June, living in a tiny apartment with a newborn, a 2 year old, and a full of energy 5 year old, proved to be a difficult task. Dayne really was the forgotten child.

I am so happy that I had this last year with her at home. Virginia is not like the west. Everyone puts their kid in some sort of preschool here. I didn't. Not because I didn't want to. I felt like I should. I was looked at (at times)like a loony for not doing it. Number one, it's expensive. Number two, I felt like Dayne was able to learn at home much better than Cole. And number three (why am I numbering?), I knew I needed this time with her. I love you my sweet, creative, funny, musical Dayne!!